Back in time..

The clock strikes six. It's time for him to come home.

Just when the thought flutters through my mind, I hear the clinking of keys outside the front door.

And then there's more.

He's at it, again!

How can one forget the right key that unlocks the door?

The door to one’s own home.

Click.

Finally, he got that right.

He enters the house with the coat placed on his right arm and briefcase in his left.

In a split second the shoes are in the air, but miss the shoe rack, untidily.

The coat and briefcase find themselves on the small table beside the couch.

He loosens his tie and plonks himself on the couch.

A long day at work and I know something’s amiss.

His face says it all. He can never mask his emotions.

And then he turns to look at me.

He has that crooked, almost tired smile. Yes, something's definitely wrong.

He tells me all about the rattle he's had with his boss & how he almost fell asleep on his desk; and how his colleagues mocked him for the same.

He tells me he's unable to get sleep at night.

That's so not like him. He was a sound sleeper.

But things are different now. Very  different.

Every morning began with him kissing me good morning.

And then he'd expect me to get his breakfast on bed while he spent hours taking a shower.

I'd throw the towel at him and he'd grab me by the waist and we'd playfully nudge and push each other.

Our house was a cackle of laughter.

He'd come home every night with a flower, and his smile; it was so radiant, he'd cheer me up too.

We'd talk at the dining table and spend hours in bed- making love at times; talking of future plans, and sometimes just sleeping with my head on his chest.

Sounds like the ideal couple, doesn't it?

But now things have changed. He doesn't have that smile on his face.

Oh how I miss that!

He wakes up with an alarm, makes the bed and most days leaves home without breakfast.

He tries to look his best at work, but alas, I wish I could tell him he needs to tidy up.

He tries to sleep, tossing and turning in bed.

Sleep, definitely not in sight.

I wish I could change this.

I wish I could make him happy again, because that's all I ever wanted.

 I wish I could undo the events in our life.

I wish…

There's only one thing that hasn't changed.

He still brings home a flower for me.

He gives it to me with a smile.

Yes, he places it before my photograph.

My smiling image that looks at him with lovelorn eyes.

Because that's all that's left of me. That’s the only way I can show my love.

I am no more in his life. Or at least, physically.

But I will always be part of his life. In his memories.

In the photograph, that reads 1991-2016.