Hey there...Do you believe in cross-sexual
friendships? And do you think that you could just remain friends with someone
of the opposite gender, without being attracted to him/her. Just PURE
friendship?
So I have a lot of friends who are guys,
and I seem to get along with them really well. In fact I have a better rapport
with boys than girls... With guys, I know I can share secrets with them,
without the fear of it being let out. On the contrary if I share something with
a girl, it's bound to come back to you in some or the other way. They go about
spilling the beans with the patent dialogue- "Please don't tell her,
I told you!" :P
But then again, not all girls fall into
this category..And my bestest friend is also a girl...
But yeah back to the topic..I tend to be
very comfortable with my friends irrespective of their gender and I
have absolutely no doubts about this friendship. But I absolutely
hate it when guys try to dig deeper and assume that there's something more to
it, when clearly it's just his head that's messed up! :( .. I know I've lost
quite a few friends, only because the "liking" factor steps in and
then you just can't behave normal.. It's an awkward place to be in
and just don't like it.
So I've had this friend, let's name him R..
He was this really close friend and we got along like fire.. Let's just say I
had an innocent "crush" on him, but he was someone who didn't believe
in commitment and relationships, so I got over it.. But then it wasn't
that serious anyway. I went on to fall in love with A.M. and yes, I'm
in a steady relationship. And then out of the blue, R comes up to me and says
he loves me, even after knowing I'm committed... I felt bad for him and tried
to reason out things but somewhere things weren't right and well we aint that
close anymore.
On discussing this with A.M. he sent me an
answer via e-mail, so I wouldn't feel bad... Awww he's just so adorable na! :D
... Ahemm so yeah I'm sharing the e-mail with you guys (with his
permission)... You guys can post in your take on
this...Agree/Disagree, I'm cool with it. I'm Not the
YOU-CAN'T-DISAGREE-WITH-WHAT-MY-BF-SAYS-kind of girl.. SO here it is!
**************
Ever wondered, why a guy would choose
to share certain emotional and personal details with only one girl….?? And not
many others…?? And I am sure you must have noticed that we are brought up with
the idea that you cannot fall in love with some one of your same sex…??? I hope
you look back in your life and realize that some where we started believing
that you fall in love with the opposite sex. Unlike some cases in the present and
past, where people do fall in love with a person of the same sex. But the cases are often rare. But that is not
the point.
I write this letter to show you a side
that may be you might have over looked. Dear, when a guy begins to share
certain emotional, intimate secrets with one girl he develops an understanding
that he is the only one who gets to do that with you. He also starts believing
that you care about him, which he does not get with his fellow friends of the
same sex and you are the only one of the opposite sex who gives him that, thus making him
believe that you are someone who is a little more important than just the usual
other friend. And there comes in the angle of love.
The other thing to wonder, Mahi,
is that if the guy does this with every other girl. As in, shares his intimate
and emotional secrets with any other, even if I am not being judgmental about
him but I have to tell you that the guy is ether seeking cheap attention or is
playing games with you…
Thus there is no harm in having
cross-sexual friendship but only if the guy knows that there are other guys who
seek emotional support from you and that he’s not the only one. Then there will
be no problems and no broken friendships. But guys are always going to be guys
and will never be friends with the other girl until and unless they are GAY.
That’s a fact because that’s how guys grow up and that’s what they come to
believe as they grow.
Trust me we could be friends with
girls when we were kids because then, we could share our emotions with
everyone, from friends to family. Everyone understood that we were kids. But
the moment we are tall enough the world wants us to be a man and solve our
problems by ourselves. Hope you remember that famous line- MEN DON’T CRY. And
that’s when the only girl we share our emotions with becomes really special to
us. And we feel bonded to her and I
FELL IN LOVE WITH U.
**************
Also I'd like to
give a very warm welcome to Iffi, Aakanksha,
Fatima, Dilshad, Suvaiba, Chocolate Chip, Sunakshi and Ananya. You guys make me happy! :D
:)
hahaha.. dont worry.. my life is same :D 90% of my friends have been guys since childhood.. but I think as I matured, I developed a more meaningful friendships with my girl pals ..
ReplyDeleteHahahaha It happens :)
ReplyDeletexx
happened with me ones! but now i realized all this stuffs, helps me to keep my best guy frnds on the mark ;)
ReplyDeleteP.S. OMG u'r a malayale? well it got me kickd to know tat u'r one, coz u se,e i m one too :p =D
P.P.S sorry if the above P.S. seems crazy/stupid! it just happend to me a part of me
Being friends with the opposite sex is still a wee bit frowned upon. Maybe because a lot of friendships blossom into a relationships which go awry pretty fast.
ReplyDeleteBut your guy does have a point there.
He's got a point. But is that your real nick name or censored? :P
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
LOVE YOU TOOO dher sara *hugs-hugs*
ReplyDeletei srsly vouch on that
on both things
1) GIRLS are powered with jealousy and bitching
2) BOYS START ACTING OVER-POSSESSIVE
and i dont have answers for both and have experienced both..! :(( and both are like disgusting feelings...!!
but life goes on and log aate rahtey ae..!
:))
tc
keep writing..!
Guess what? You aint alone,sister :P Know what happened with me? There is this guy,Um-lets call him M,and he fell in love with me,but I told him to get over it,and we settled at being BFFS,and then *I* fell in love with *HIM*,but then it was too late because he began taking me as his 'bestest' friend ever!
ReplyDeleteFriendship with guys usually ends up that way,so no worries (:
P.S: loved the way I could relate myself with this post <3
Keep writing great stuff!
xx
@Ananya- Well I think its great to be friends with girls too, but then again CHOOSING the right friends is the key right. My Bestest friend is a girl :D
ReplyDelete@Aman- Oh you bet! :)
@Niya- Your right...But in the process I lost out on some really amazing friends..umm chuck..
P.S. Yes I'm a Malayalee too... Yayieee :D
P.P.S. Don't be sorry, it's totally cool..Def not stupid :D (now my ps & pps would look silly) :P
@peevee- Aww now my guys would be so happy if he sees this.. :)
@Blasphemous Aesthete- Well to think of it, I see a point too..And Mahi is what he calls me.. Just him.. Not my real name.. :)
@Suvaiba- *hugssss* ...yeaahh it sucks to be in such situations :/
@Chocolate Chip- I had a friend just like your M and crap you sometimes just don't know what to do...Go with the flow or tell him and be scared of messing it up...And finally you keep stuff to yourself... Aaah :P ...
P.S. Glad you could relate to this :D
Just enjoy your time with them and don't worry much .I love your blog .Steal those hearts.
ReplyDeleteFollow each other .
Thank you Izdiher :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I must tell you the letter from ur boy friend explains it all :) :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I have cross-sexual friends, been like friends for ages, and I don't fall for them.. and I ain't gay either :P
ReplyDeleteYour guy is kind of emotional, and sensitive types(you have got the jackpot guy).
In my opinion, it would never happen that a guy suddenly starts developing feelings for a girl who's a friend.. The small bits of attraction is always there.. if it isn't, it wont come later also..
aJ
@Sunil- :)
ReplyDelete@aakash- I feel blessed having A.M. in my life.. And I think you're right.. :)
i em sure every guy is different in his own special way...try not to belive in cliched sayings!:)
ReplyDeleteem ur new follower...hope you follow back:)
http://muzna-roghay.blogspot.com/
Yes yes!!....girls love to gossip...they are interested in others matter more than themselves...But yeah all girls don't come under same category :)
ReplyDeleteCute letter from your friend :)
@thefloodgte of feelings- I don't believe in anything till I experience it... Thanks :)
ReplyDelete@Valli- Yeah not all girls are the same..heheh but quite a few are... Cute letter...umm yeah :)
It's my absolute pleasure devouring your blog everytime I get a chance :)
ReplyDeleteN btw, what is yo boyfriend? a psychologist?!
@Indumathy Sukanya- Aww I feel flattered...seriosuly... and I LOVE you soooo much for saying that... Means a lot! *hugs* =D ♥♥ ...
ReplyDeleteOh and my guy aint a psychologist.. LOL :P ... buh yeah he always seems to know just how to explain stuff to me or say the right thing at the right time.. :)